he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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