dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
