Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
