Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize