dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
