so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Four minutes until I can fart!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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