Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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