Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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