You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
