when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he fucked my hip out of place.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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