why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
