At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
