I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
