my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
