so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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