Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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