best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
