oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
