the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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