she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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