you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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