he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
