Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize