I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
