So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
