All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
