Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
