ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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