I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
