We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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