perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize