Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
