jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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