just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize