Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"

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(847): View more from Illinois

my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear

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(903): View more from Texas

I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer

(214): View more from Texas

... I'm KD

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(910): View more from North Carolina

so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.

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(817): View more from Texas

One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?

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(415): View more from California

Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

The priest.

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