I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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