it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
