your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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