Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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