Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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