OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
