I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
