guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
