Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
