What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize