Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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