I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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