oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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