So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
