Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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