My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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