Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Randomize
