i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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