ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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