I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
