new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
