There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
