Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
