I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I AM VODKA MAN
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize