Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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