Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
