this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
