At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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