before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
