do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
