I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize