My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
