Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize