I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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