I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize