I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
