ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
this will be a night to untag.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
