you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
