So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
