love makes seman taste better
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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