Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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