Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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